FAN TO FOLLOWER
In 2013 a pastor named Kyle Idleman created a study entitled
“Not A Fan, A Follower’s Story”. It
clearly described the difference between a fan of God and a follower of
God. When my wife suggested that I share
my spiritual story, I couldn’t think of a better title than “Fan to Follower” to
label my testimony.
Most of my school days were in Cincinnati. The public school system was heavily
influenced by German immigrants. The
system was very regimented. The emphasis
was on developing core values, physical fitness, knowledge of the sciences,
classical literature, art, and music.
The physical education started with gymnastics. We regularly trained in such activities as
tumbling, rings, horizontal bar, horse, and parallel bar. Climbing a pole and a rope to the ceiling of
the gym was a regular event. We were
encouraged to study Latin in order to understand Mass. In grade school, we went every week to a
church down the street where we learned of Biblical heroes and their positive
characteristics. As we studied their
lives, we were encouraged to follow their positive values. Those were the same values our parents held
and the church taught. Outside
organizations like scouting supported them, also. So, it wasn’t long before every student knew
what was expected of them. I’m not saying
we followed the core values all the time, but we had no doubt what they were.
By the time we reached high school, we were expected to have
chosen if we wanted to pursue the study of a trade, or if we wanted to prepare
for college. That determined where we
attended high school. I chose the
college prep track. I aimed at training
to be an engineer. I loved math,
physical science, history, and physical education. I enjoyed designing and building almost
anything. I loved a variety of
sports. The kids in our neighborhood
spent most of our time after school playing some sort of ball in the streets or
in a vacant lot.
Our family attended a mainline church with some regularity,
so I was exposed to the liturgy, creeds, and prayers that were repeated weekly. Interestingly, my most spiritual experiences
were in physics class. As we studied the
human eye, human hand, etc., I was fully convinced that there was a Designer
because I saw amazing design. I was
fully convinced that there was a Creator, because I saw amazing creation. The further I advanced in my studies, the
more I became a fan of God, the Designer and Creator.
I was exposed to Darwinian evolution early on. It was taught in the biological science
classes. I read the text books, looked
at the charts, visited the natural museums, and watched the movies. Never once do I remember thinking any of it
was true. To me, it was nonsense. I was a fan of the Creator and they expected
me to believe that everything I saw was the result of matter plus time plus chance. My primary physics instructor in high school
often pointed out the “Hand of God” being involved in the design of the
universe. I saw Darwin’s theory of
evolution as a silly attempt to replace the Creator.
In our home, faith was not discussed at length. My parents most likely believed I was getting
input from church. I’ve since learned
from material I found, how deep the faith of my parents really was. In fact, they had amazing insights that I was
not aware of at the time. For example,
after my father’s death, I found a notebook of lesson plans for a class he
taught after I left for college. They
were excellent and revealed that he had spent considerable time in Bible study
and prayer to prepare those lessons. It
was only in their advanced years that I discovered that they had a daily time
of prayer together throughout their married life. I now know that their faith was something
very private to them and that privacy was a generational issue.
When I left home for college, I did little to edify my
spiritual life. Actually, I did a great
deal to distance myself from God, but two connections remained. I was still a fan of God as Designer and
Creator. I even took God’s side in an
argument that arose in a Chemistry lab.
We were working in teams at our lab table, when a student at an adjacent
table started making negative comments about belief in God. At some point, I had enough and jumped into
the discussion and defended faith in God.
The situation became heated and nasty.
I obviously did little to enhance my stance.
I also had a persistent interest in the cross. I often thought, “Why the cross?” That usually happened around Good Friday each
year. On Good Friday, I had the habit of
finding a chapel that was open and would go in and pray. I would ponder the meaning of the cross, but
made little headway. That annual trip to
the chapel was the only spiritual practice that I did regularly during those
years. My attention and energy were
spent on academics and physical development.
My studies were going well, and l was getting stronger each year. I enjoyed working out as a break from
studies. I started a fitness program in
our dorm. When time allowed, I would
engage in various sports like track, gymnastics, baseball, intramural football,
and rugby just to keep in some kind of condition.
During my last year of undergraduate studies and my first
year of graduate school, I became a dorm counselor. I had 60 young men that I was responsible
for. The job description was simple,
“Maintain an atmosphere conducive to studying”.
I don’t remember anyone telling me how to do that, but they provided my
room and board and some money for books.
Plus, I had my own room with a bathroom.
With those benefits and my summer jobs, I actually made money going to
college my last two years!
One would think, with things going well, that I was in great
shape. But I was perplexed by two
questions. First, I wondered about my
purpose in life. I had a good career
awaiting my graduation, but what would I be accomplishing of lasting
value? I often asked myself, “Is this
all there is to life?” That question
haunted me for years. Second, was the
morality question. I had enough
spiritual background to know that things were going on that weren’t right. For example, I had developed a foul mouth and
a temper that even embarrassed my friends.
I had alienated far too many people with my self- centered actions, words, and attitudes. I knew I needed to change direction, but I
wasn’t sure how. The irony was that I
was supposed to be giving direction to the students on my floor. I was expected to be a positive role model
for them! How absurd! I cringe when I think of them following my
example.
Finally, one night, I was driven to my knees by those two
questions. I was in my bedroom on my
knees. I cried out to God, “God, I know
there is more to life than this, and I know the direction of my life isn’t
right. But I don’t know what to do about
it. Help me.” That was all I knew how to pray. I went to bed.
The next morning, someone knocked on my door. It was a student from across the hall. He had come to the university as a top
running back recruit from Lima, Ohio.
When he first showed up, he was a loud mouthed, obnoxious, freshman who
turned me off so badly that I avoided being anywhere near him. But during the summer after his freshman
year, he was in a severe industrial accident that almost killed him. A staff member from Campus Crusade for Christ
went to see him in the hospital and shared the Gospel with him. He was transformed by the grace of God and
returned to campus after a long recovery.
He ended up being assigned to the room across the hall from mine.
I watched with amazement as he demonstrated the sincerity of
his new life before our eyes. He went on
to be the student leader of Campus Crusade for Christ. When I opened the door and saw who it was, I
immediately invited him in and asked him to sit down. I told him of my prayer the night
before. I explained to him that I wished
his input because of his faith. He
explained the Gospel to me, including the cross. He let me know the decision that was before
me. I could decide to follow Jesus or
keep going my own way. I thanked him for
his thoughts and told him I would consider what he had said. He left and to this day, I have no idea why
he came to my door that morning. I
considered carefully the decision to follow the Lord or keep going as I had
been. I decided to follow Jesus.
I started attending the Crusade meetings. They discipled me for the rest of the
year. They were very patient. Eventually, they had me share my decision
with the group. Later, the student in
charge of speaking teams asked me if I would be interested in speaking to a
group. I was hesitant because I was
nervous about being in front of crowds, but I agreed. Then he told me I was to address 500+ inmates
at the Mansfield State Penitentiary. I
survived and was asked to speak to other groups across Ohio. During that year, the Lord made it clear that
He was calling me to Christian service.
I finished up my Master’s Degree in Structural Engineering and then
entered seminary at a school 30 miles north of campus. During that same year I met my wife. We dated that year and found out she was fine
with the leading the Lord was giving me.
My parents were stunned when I told them that I was entering seminary
after graduating as an engineer. They
had many questions, but supported my choice. My engineering professors had a
difficult time with my choice and expressed their concern.
The first year of seminary was interesting. I was still being discipled on weekends by
Campus Crusade. The seminary classes
raised more questions than they answered.
I had little Biblical background, so I was “raw” as to spiritual
matters. I was starting from scratch
when it came to church history, Biblical studies, church polity, etc. I had two degrees in Structural Engineering
and yet, I felt like a high school freshman in seminary. The folks at the seminary were very kind to
me, but it became apparent that what I was being taught about the Bible and the
Christian life was not agreeing with what I was reading in the Scriptures and
experiencing in my early walk with the Lord as a part of Campus Crusade. A friend suggested I look into Asbury
Seminary near Lexington. I visited and
loved the place. Sandy and I were
married that summer and we moved to Asbury Seminary that fall. I was delighted with the studies and
community. The chapel services were like
heaven on earth. I couldn’t have asked
for better professors. In many cases,
students weren’t the only ones in the classroom. Lay people would come and sit around the edge
of the classroom just to hear great teaching.
Dr. Robert Coleman, the author of “Masterplan for Evangelism” was my
professor of evangelism. Often, the
class would close with everyone on their knees worshipping God with all their
hearts. I had never experienced anything
like those classes. I even made it
through Greek classes. Dr. Coleman would
take some of us who had a hunger for evangelism into Nicolasville every Friday
night to do one on one evangelism in the streets and bars. We would meet at the local Methodist Church
for prayer and then spend hours talking with folks about the Lord. It was an honor to spend hours side by side
with Dr. Coleman sharing our faith.
Finances were a struggle.
Sandy’s teaching wasn’t earning as much as one would expect, so I went
to the head of the Science Dept. of the College across the street from the
seminary. When they saw my credentials,
I was hired to head up the Physics Dept. and to teach Engineering
Mechanics. The Physical Education Dept.
also hired me to teach Physical Fitness.
Those jobs eased the financial burden, but then time became an issue. I was in school full time. The college was well known for preparing
students for medical school and Physics was vital to that preparation if they
were to pass the entrance exams, so the teaching load was substantial. I also pastored a small Methodist Church
outside of town near the Kentucky River.
It was during those days that our oldest son, Eric, entered the
picture. As you might expect, things
were hectic. But those years were delightful. We had our little family. The community was like nothing we’d ever
experienced. We made friends with some
of the finest people on earth, some of whom we still have contact with today. Each year the faculty of the college had a
retreat before the fall classes began.
We met in the basement of a lodge at a park. We were challenged one evening to surrender
all to the Lord and give the Holy Spirit full reign in our hearts. Some refer to that surrender as being “filled
with the Spirit”. Some call it
“sanctification”. I’m satisfied with any
of those terms. I just know that when we
were singing “Higher Ground”, I laid it all out before the Lord and told Him it
was all His and I wanted to follow Him wherever He led. His
presence was never stronger.
As I approached graduation, I entered discussions with a
friend we knew in Columbus, Dr. James Engel who was a well-known professor of
Marketing at OSU. We discussed the idea
of starting a Faculty Emphasis ministry as part of Campus Crusade. He discussed the possibility with Dr. William
Bright who founded Campus Crusade. It
was approved, and Sandy and I were soon on our way to be trained as Crusade
staff with an emphasis on faculty. We
spent the summer after graduation from seminary in San Bernardino at Crusade
headquarters. We were both accepted as
staff and assigned to the northern Illinois area. During those years, campuses across the
country were in chaos. There were more
riots and marches than classes, but the movement for Christ thrived. It was the beginning of the Jesus
Movement. Students quickly became disenchanted
with violence and anarchy and were turning to Jesus. Faculty were interested in what was happening
faith wise, so my job involving them in the spiritual lives of students was
made much easier. My main job was to
travel the Big Ten area and involve Christian faculty in the efforts to reach
students by their testimonies and support.
We developed ways to win faculty
to Christ and disciple them. I also had
opportunities to reach out to students.
During each week we filled one of the largest churches in town with
hundreds of students who were mostly new believers and discipled them using the
material developed by Dr. Bright. Each
year we saw a dozen or more students go into full time Christian service.
One night, during those years, I had a dream that impacted
the rest of my life. I dreamed I was
standing on a plain. Behind me was a
cliff. At the bottom of the cliff were
rocks and crashing waves. In front of me I saw a mass of people running toward
the cliff. I charged at them, waving my arms and telling them to stop and turn
around or they would be destroyed on the rocks below. Some stopped, but others kept going in spite
of my attempts to grab them. Then I
awoke. I was drenched in sweat and out
of breath. As I pondered that
experience, I realized it was more than just a dream.
Most of our years with Crusade were spent in Dekalb,
Illinois. We became involved in a
Wesleyan Church there. Eventually, I
entered the denomination as a pastor and served in that capacity for
decades. We had our second son, Kurt,
while pastoring in the Chicagoland area. Our family took four years where Sandy
and I served as teachers at the Wesleyan Academy in Puerto Rico. The responsibilities expanded as I started to
teach at the Bible College, coached track, became mission coordinator, and
served as a Baseball Chaplain for a semi-pro baseball team on the island.
In 1985, I was serving as a pastor. I began to spend some time each month
ministering in the county jail. The
churches I pastored after that all agreed that I should continue to minister at
the local county jail. That continued
until 2000 when I accepted an offer to be a fulltime chaplain at the DuPage
County Jail in the Chicagoland area. The
job expanded to include directing the criminal rehab program at the same
facility. I served in those two
capacities until 2009 when we moved to Texas.
Soon after that move, I accepted a position as a corporate chaplain with
Marketplace Chaplains. I also fill the
pulpit at two campuses of Crossroads Church on a fairly regular basis.
This year marks my 50th year of ministry since my
graduation from seminary. My desire is
that I can continue to minister for the Lord for many more years. There is no greater joy than sharing the
Gospel and watching what happens when people respond positively.
As I look back on those years, I can say with confidence
that my most important decision was when I chose to transition from a fan to a
follower of the Lord. I have enormous
gratitude to the Lord for the very special people He brought into my life over
the years…my parents and family, my wife and sons, the wonderful teachers,
mentors, co-workers, and leaders with whom I have served. Praise His Holy Name.
