In 45 years of counseling, I've noticed that one topic keeps popping up. The topic is forgiveness.  When unforgiveness is harbored for any length of time, it festers and leads to all kinds of negative consequences.  I've seen it actually cause physical illness as well as emotional and spiritual pain.  If we are to enjoy good health, it is important to learn to deal with forgiveness in a healthy manner.

Most every faith community recognizes the importance of being forgiven and being forgiving.  In the Psalms, King David often worships God for His forgiveness.  In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus forever linked being forgiven to being forgiving.  So, it appears that we need to understand forgiveness.

The key to understanding "forgive" is found in the word itself.  Actually, it is two words in both English and Spanish:  FOR and GIVE or PER and DON.  In old English, it is GIVE FORTH.  In other words, to forgive is to give something away...to sacrifice.  There is no forgiveness without sacrifice!  If you forgive my financial debt, you sacrifice your right to be paid back.  From the moment you forgive my debt, I'm treated as if I owe you nothing.

If I have wronged you and ask for your forgiveness, I'm asking you to sacrifice certain things such as:
-the right to get even or get revenge
-the right to harbor ill will or a grudge
-the right to bring the issue to the surface over and over

So, before we tell someone that we forgive them, we had better consider carefully the sacrifice we will be making.  Saying you forgive someone without sacrifice is just empty words and will bring no healing to your heart or life.  But, true sacrificial forgiveness will bring deliverance and healing.

Those asking for forgiveness need to understand the significance of their request.  They are asking for a sincere and significant sacrifice to be made.  If their request is granted, the only proper response is a grateful heart .